Friday, August 19, 2011

Hello Friends!

I took a little bit longer of a break than I intended to, but I have been so busy lately that I literally have not had time to sit down and write a blog post.  Or clean my house.  Or respond to emails.  Or even get a good night's sleep!

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I don't talk a whole lot about the Navy on here.  Which was pretty easy, because J. was still in training and, while he had odd work hours at times, it was easy to think about it as just a regular job.

But, that has all changed.  While I was visiting my family in the great state of Texas last week, I got some news that, quite literally, changed my life.  J. was done at the boat, it had gone well and he was rushing to the airport -- two days earlier than he was supposed to come home.

My heart sank and my stomach twisted into knots.  I felt sick to my stomach.  The Navy doesn't do anything efficiently and they certainly don't send people home early unless there is a reason.  Leaving carrier qualifications early meant one of two things -- (1) J. had DQ'd (failed) and they were sending him home or (2) He had CQ'd (passed), selected Priority A and would be leaving for deployment ASAP.  Unfortunately, since J. had told me in his text message that the boat had gone well, I had a feeling that he fell into category (2).  He told me he'd call me as soon as he got to the airport, so I did my best to think positively and go on with my day.  I was at my Aunt K. and Uncle D.'s house, with my sister and my Cousin C.  My grandma had come over to have dinner with us and my Aunt J. and Cousin T. had come over to visit as well.  We visited for a bit but my grandma started feeling sick and throwing up, so my Aunt K. took her home.  My Aunt J. and Cousin T. left as well.  When she got back, we piled into the car to go get some dinner.  J. called while we were en route.

He wanted to catch up, but I just wanted to know what was going on.

"Why'd you get off the boat early?" I asked.

"Because I selected Pri-A," he responded.

I broke down in the back of the car.  My family knew.  I'd told them our options and it was pretty clear from my reaction which one we'd been assigned to.

I'm a very private person when it comes to my emotions - which is why you read about restaurants or bars we've discovered, friends we've made, trips we've taken or hikes we've done, rather than the trials of Navy life, the reality of living somewhere so far from home and the mornings I feel so depressed I can't get out of bed - but I sobbed in the backseat of my aunt's SUV, sandwiched between my cousin and my sister.  It was a quiet but ugly sob that literally left me speechless and made me glad I had nothing in my stomach to throw up.

It was about that time we pulled up at the restaurant - remember I mentioned we were on our way to dinner?  Uncle D. made the quick decision that we should get take-out and ran inside for menus.

I literally could not speak, so I had to tell J. that I'd talk to him later.  He got home late that night and I threw my first temper tantrum.  He didn't know yet when he would be deploying and I couldn't change my flight until at least Monday because we were getting up at 6:00 a.m. to take my Cousin C. back to school in Austin.  We also had plans to visit our favorite outlet mall after we dropped off Cousin C.'s things at the sorority house.

Now, I LOVE to shop.  LOVE IT.  And I'd been told to buy whatever I wanted at San Marcos - a phrase that should have been music to my ears.  But, I wandered around in a stupor all day.  Alternating between being super hot (it was 105 outside and San Marcos is an outdoor shopping center) and feeling like I was going to vomit.  I came home with a puffy vest I'd been planning on purchasing from the J. Crew outlet near my house in Washington and some face powder that I was out of.  Pretty boring for someone who'd been given free rein at one of the largest outlet malls in the United States.

Anyways, part of the reason I waited so long to write this post and announce our news (oh I'm not done yet!) was that I knew I'd get over the initial shock and be ready for the upcoming adventure.  Plus there are all sorts of OPSEC rules that I wanted to make sure I wasn't breaking.  I'm a good little Navy dependent like that :)  Anyways, we went to San Marcos on Sunday.  On Monday we found out that J. would be leaving for deployment on Saturday - exactly one week after he found out that he would even be deploying.  He had so much stuff to do to get ready that I stayed in Texas and tried to enjoy myself until my flight home on Wednesday.

We celebrated Thanksgiving on Thursday night with some new friends and celebrated J.'s 27th birthday Friday night since he would be deployed on his actual birthday.  And on Saturday, I sent J. off on our first deployment.  I'd love to sugarcoat things and say it wasn't that bad, but it was bad.  I cried all the way to the airport.  I was so glad we weren't doing some kind of whole squadron send-off because while I've never been to one, so I don't really know what it's like, I have this picture in my head of all the wives/girlfriends/significant others sending them all off at the same time.  And remember how I like to be private about my emotions?  Well, that's hard to do when you have tears running down your face as they leave.

Saturday night was really hard and so was Sunday morning, but I got out of the house Sunday afternoon and ever since I've been better.  I'm certainly not looking forward to these next few months but I know it could be worse.  I've been so busy this week that I probably wouldn't have seen J. even if he was home and next week my mom is coming, so I am hoping that the weeks start to fly by :)

And now, for our other news ... the squadron that J. was placed in will be moving to JAPAN when they return from deployment.

I guess I better change the name of my blog ... and start practicing my Japanese.


  1. Oh, it just breaks my heart to hear how sad you've been! How long is this deployment?

    I remember growing up, in a Navy household, my dad would deploy on a very regular basis. Obviously it's different as a child than it is as someone's partner, but I remember how hard it was on my mum. And I've seen how hard it's been on my sister-in-law when my brother deployed to Iraq twice.

    There are going to be days, even weeks, that will be incredibly difficult, but the most important thing you can do is reach out and seek support from other Navy girlfriends and wives, and your blog buddies! I can't wait for wine tasting!

    I also like your attitude of experiencing new adventures. Moving to Japan will be a huge adjustment, but how many people get an opportunity like that!

    Stay strong! Lots of hugs to you1

  2. Loved the post! I feel like I will be writing my own shortly:) At least we will be there together.